Glimpses of Tucker

It is very hard to figure out what Tucker knows, what he is thinking, what he wants, or even how he is feeling a lot of the time. He has autism, is very speech delayed, and is quite the puzzle, so most of the time with him is a guessing game. If he cries out in the middle of the night, I don't know if he is hurt, having a nightmare, or whatever else could be going on with him. The other day Chris and I found him crying his eyes out on the floor saying "Ow, Ow, Ow" and we still have not figured out what was actually hurting him. In a lot of ways, he is like a baby-figuring out his grunts and cries, and interpreting them as happy or sad, never really sure if you got it right. We try to give Tucker many experiences, we like to watch his face as he sees new things or people. The way he feels could be evident by a smile or tears, but a lot of the time we get the "Tucker glance," which is staring off into space or even tilting his head to think about things. Oh, what I would give to know what he is thinking at those times!! Tucker's speech has been steadily improving, and every so often, I get a glimpse into my sweet boy's mind. A lot of the time, I wonder if he even notices the things we do, or treats and things like that; he does, he just chooses to show me what he knows on his own terms. Yesterday, Tucker came home early from school because he had diarrhea.....I was a little upset as he generally takes days to get rid of this particular symptom. So far, it's been okay, though, and we are hoping to be good and healthy for Christmas and the Dreams Come True trip on Monday. So anyways, Tucker was home early, and we picked up Gina and her friend Jenee at school. I drove to the bank, and along the way we passed Wal Mart. Tucker pointed and called out "Go to stoy (store), Buy some eggs!" Tucker watches things like a little hawk, and keeps it all stored up in his head. We laughed so hard at him, and told him we were not going to the store. He was pretty mad! Tucker also has started to "control" the car radio. Tucker and I spend a lot of time in the car, on the way to various appointments, and the conversation is obviously one-sided. I hate to just play the music and ignore him, but I think he really prefers that, haha. Well lately he has several phrases "shage da shannel" (change the channel) "put it lodder" (put it louder) and "music" which could mean either to change the channel or to put it louder...the meaning changes with his mood! He definitely prefers rap music, but he is even picky about what type of rap music. He seems to love Boom Boom Pow, and of course Chamillionare. It is a very nice change to have him interacting with me in the car. I am very late with my Christmas shopping and wrapping this year. Well yesterday I wrapped a few small gifts, and Tucker was very interested in helping. I let him put the labels on, then I put the roll of wrapping paper in the back room. Tucker ran in there and closed the door (never a good sign) and a few minutes later we heard him talking. He had unrolled the rest of the paper and was talking through the empty roll like a megaphone. It was so cute! I asked him "what do you think you're doing??" He looked at us and said, "wappin' pesents". Seriously, Chris and I were very surprised. Usually when you ask him "who is it?" he answers "who is it?" If you ask him "what are you doing" he answers "what u doin' " So to get an actual answer was a huge deal. I told him he was not wrapping presents, he was making a mess! He just grinned:) Every once in awhile Tucker shows us a little more of his personality and thoughts, I hope he becomes more and more expressive. I would really like to get to know my little guy better:)