I've tried to put together most of the story of my pregnancy with Easton and his arrival. I'll go over my emotions about Tucker and his transition in another post. I have been working on this post for a while, just whenever I have a few minutes when no one needs me ;) So it may seem all over the place, and it's very long. Enjoy!
"Well no matter who you are, and no matter what you've done,
there will come a time when you can't make it on your own.
and in your hour of desperation, know you're not the only one
praying Lord above, I need a miracle."
After Tucker's birth, long hospitalization, host of medical issues, and multiple diagnoses, Chris and I weren't sure if we were going to have more kids. We love Tucker so much, and we are great with kids....but we were scared to death of another NICU stay and/or another bout with pre-eclampsia that could put my health in danger again. Then Tucker was diagnosed with mito, and we realized that any future babies could have health issues regardless of their gestation at birth....
For years I couldn't look at babies...but over the last few years God started working on my heart, and giving me hope that a second pregnancy could be different...and even if it wasn't different at all, it would still be worth trying.
This pregnancy was rough on me...emotionally and physically...I had morning sickness that lasted all day and night, I was sleeping up to 16 hours each day for the first trimester, on 3 meds for nausea, and still having no relief. When that ended at 14 weeks, I started having uncontrollable asthma symptoms. I started 3 more meds for that, and got it under control. I cried hard at least once per day throughout the whole pregnancy, so scared that if my body couldn't handle the baby at 8 weeks or 17 weeks...how was I ever going to make it past 27 weeks? What would it do to me, Chris, and Tucker if we lost the baby...or if I had to spend months on bedrest, or months in the NICU with a sick baby?
My OB sent me to the high risk doctors at 12 weeks, where I had one of the specialists describe pre-eclampsia to me in depth....he went over how the pre-e basically starves the baby, and he or she has no nutrients. I cried my eyes out and wondered what the heck I was doing. My OB and the high risk doctor told me that I had about a 10% chance of having pre-eclampsia again, and that as long as the baby was growing well, things would be good. I was followed by the high risk doctors and my OB, so I had ultrasounds every 6 weeks, along with many tests. My first set of labwork looked great, then all of the preliminary tests came back normal throughout the pregnancy....which was different than Tucker. I started to feel like maybe things would be different.
At 24 weeks, the high rish doctor released me, he said the baby looked great and that I had a great chance at getting to full term. Then at 27 weeks, my blood pressure went up for a few days. Then it went back down. My OB ordered a urine test and bloodwork, and it all looked good. I felt like I was being over cautious, but my OB said she'd do any tests I needed.
At 30 weeks, 5 days, we had another ultrasound. Easton measured perfectly at 3 pounds 15 oz, Chris and I were thrilled. We thought he'd be huge by the time he was born. For about one week, we were so happy. Around 32 weeks, my body blew up..I was so swollen all over, which is a sign of pre-e. But my blood pressure was still low. My OB was still concerned, so she ordered another 24 hour urine test (I was getting used to filling up the big red jug by this point!), my protein was up to 600....which was high, but not terrible. She ordered another 24 hour urine test and moved me to weekly appointments. At 33 weeks, 1 day, the OB asked me to come in for a BP check. My BP looked great in the office. She said if my BP was higher she would have admitted me because of the protein level. She ordered another 24 hour urine test, and told me to stay on bedrest at home over the weekend, then turn in the urine that Monday. We'd get the results by Tuesday, when I'd come in for another appointment. (The new hospital opened on August 5, and the new Physician's tower opened August 6. Within the first week of it being open, I was there 3 times! I knew the building and parking lot better than some of the employees.)
Over the weekend I rested a lot! I felt great, my swelling went down, and my mood improved. I packed my hospital bag for Tuesday morning just in case, as being stuck in the hospital with nothing of your own is awful (and I would know!). At 33 weeks, 5 days, I had another growth scan. Easton was measuring 4 pounds, 8 ounces....he had only gained half a pound in 3 weeks. I knew at this point that something was very wrong. I had been taking my blood pressure several times a day at home, and it was high sometimes, but as soon as I'd lay down it would go down. My protein level went up to 1400 in just a few days and my blood pressure was measuring 150/100 in the office, so my OB admitted me to the hospital for bedrest.
I felt like I was in good spirits at first....I was so much further than 27 weeks, and I knew that was good. But then I was more honest with myself and realized I was terrified. I know babies who were born at 33 weeks, 34 weeks...and have needed to be intibated, have spent months in the NICU, have gone on to have long term health complications. and of course this would be Tucker's little brother we're talking about! I wasn't going to have my happy birth experience, where I got to hold my newborn right after delivery, and we got to have family and friends all come in immediately to see us all, and introduce Tucker to his baby brother. Even in the best case scenario, I'd be spending weeks in the hospital away from Tucker, and my maternity leave time would be used up for bedrest, not for being home with my baby.
Within hours of being admitted, I realized I was having way too many contractions (I didn't even feel them!) so I got a shot of brethene and they calmed down. I received the first round of steriod shots to help Easton's lungs, and my BP was monitored every hour. My OB knew that I was terrified of being put on magnesium. With Tucker, I was so sick that I was put on mag right away and left on it until over 24 hours after he was born. Mag is (I suppose) a great drug, it can help stop labor and it also saves the mom from seizures and other problems that pre-e can cause. But it feels awful!! It makes you feel like you are boiling, and no matter how much ice they put on you and or how cold the room is, you feel miserable. Your whole body feels very heavy, and you feel drugged, so you can't really talk or get out of the bed. I was so scared that I'd be on mag during bedrest, but thank goodness I wasn't! So I was able to think and talk during bedrest, and even have bathroom priveleges (which is a huge deal! lol). I decided this wouldn't be so bad.
Then on that first night my dad and sisters came to visit me and to deliver medicines that I needed from home. I was very happy to see them, and they stayed for just one hour, but after they left, my BP was the highest it had ever been. I knew if my BP got too high that they'd deliver Easton, so I decided then that I wouldn't have any visitors other than Chris or mom. I wanted Easton to stay in at least long enough to get two rounds of steriod shots, and my goal was really to get him to 37 weeks.
The next few days were kind of boring, but very restful. My swelling went way down, the carpel tunnel syndrome that had hurt my hands so badly during the pregnancy disappeared. My OB rounded on Wednesday and said that if the 24 hour urine test came back around 1400 again that I could go home for bedrest and move back to weekly OB appointments. I was thrilled! Of course it came back at 3600 (they deliver at 5000) so I was there to stay.
I kept requesting a visit from the NICU team, desperate to have some idea of what we were expecting with a 34 weeker at the new hospital. The doctors weren't very concerned, they said that 35 weekers usually don't even go to the NICU. Well, this was a boy (wimpy white boy syndrome) and Tucker's brother! So I knew that a 34 week pregnant woman wasn't the NICU dr's top priority of the day, but I was so relieved when I saw one of the doctors come in to see us (of course I knew she was a NICU dr because she had taken care of Tucker). She remembered us (as did many of the respiratory therapists who saw me during bedrest) and told us what we could expect at delivery. I was so very scared and sad about being separated from Easton at delivery. During bedrest, he was still with me. I knew that as soon as he was born they'd take him away, and I was worried that I'd be inconsolable. The dr said that this wouldn't be anything like Tucker's delivery-best case scenario was that Easton would breathe on his own, and Chris and I could both hold him before he'd spend a week or two in the NICU.
I would still be on mag for at least 24 hours (I kept asking my OB if each day was "the day" I'd be put on mag, everytime she saw me), so I wouldn't be totally "all there" for the delivery, but I should be awake at least and be able to understand what was going on. I just prayed and prayed that Easton would defy all expectations and give us a best case scenario, even though he wasn't getting his full 40 weeks.
On August 20, 2012, after 34 weeks and 4 days of pregnancy (including 6 days on hospital bedrest), Easton arrived, and we got our miracle.
My OB took a while to finish my section, so the NICU team was ready to bring Easton over to his room. Chris asked them to please keep him in the delivery area so that I could hold him. I don't think Chris will ever understand how much that meant to me.
These moments were so happy; unfortunately, after this Easton had to go to the NICU while I went up to recovery. Then I couldn't get out of bed for 24 hours while I was on the mag so everyone else went to visit him while I stayed in my bed. And once I was off of the mag, I fought pain and exhaustion to get over to the NICU to see Easton. He spent 8 days in the NICU; while that was nothing compared to the 8 1/2 months Tucker spent there, it was still very hard for this mommy to be away from her new baby. All of the emotions from Tucker's birth came back, and the sadness from being parted from Easton were added to them. I knew that Easton would do better than Tucker did, but I also knew that I'd be leaving the hospital without him, and that he may stay for 3 weeks or so.
We took this picture about a week after Easton came home.
I am overjoyed to catch up and see God's hands at work!!
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