Frustrations

This isn't really about Tucker-it's more about my frustration. I thought I had gotten over a lot of feelings in the last three months, but I guess I have not. Tucker's due date was Friday and he turned three months old on Saturday. I guess that is just making all of the old angry feelings come back. It's like I never worked anything out or can't move on. The angry feelings are the ones: I missed out on the last 3 months of being pregnant-Tucker missed out on his best chance at his new life. I didn't get to see my baby for over 48 hours. I didn't get to hold him for over 7 weeks. He's not coming home until he's around 6 months old. It's just that I'm kind of mad at myself b/c I thought I had moved past this. But when I see a birth on TV or a movie, or see the new moms leaving the hospital with their babies when I go to see Tucker, it just all comes back. It's like I haven't gotten over it. People keep telling me how well Chris and i are taking this, but sometimes I think "if they only knew." Two of my friends are 8 months pregnant with their first babies, and I feel like we should be swapping advice and fears, but I don't even know what 8 months pregnant feels like. And their babies are going to be home before Tucker, so I won't have any advice to give them, really. I am sick of feeling like this. I just want to be happy and supportive of other pregnant women, but I wonder how do I get over these feelings of resentment and of missing out? We want other children, and I am scared that when I have a full term baby, I will go through all of these feelings again, seeing what Tucker did not get to have. I just needed to let these feelings out, thanks for listening.